Friendships change as you get older. I am very lucky to have wonderful women in my life. There are friends I have known since I was a child, others since high school, college, professionally, through marriages, and so one. I do not know what I would do without my friends. My life has had good times and bad, and I can honestly say that these women have absolutely been there with me through it all. As I have gotten older, there have been changes in certain aspects of our friendships that are sometimes difficult and others have been a blessing.
Social Butterfly! I used to go out and about every weekend and often on the weeknights too. I always made time to see my friends for late nights, dinners, or shopping. As I have gotten older, it is harder to see people! My calendar fills up with family obligations, kid stuff, work, or just not being in the mood to go out on the town as much! We save the date on the calendar and then something comes up and we have to cancel. Before you know it, months and months have gone by, and we have not even seen each other.
It is hard not to see each other, and it makes me truly appreciate it when we do! The times when we get coffee, or go see a show, grab drinks… I am truly present in the moment. I do not take it for granted because I miss these women! I feel like I used to take MANY of these moments for granted!
I remember when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I felt completely lost. I asked a friend, who had lost her mom, to go for a walk along the beach with me. I was sobbing while we walked. I finally apologized to her over and over and explained how bad I felt that I did not understand the pain she had gone through when her mother was sick. I felt so awful that I was not there for her the way I should have been. I felt such guilt for not knowing what to say, not checking in enough, not giving her what I felt that I needed at that moment. She hugged me and told me she would never want me to join this club… The Sick Mom Club.
Our friendship has grown stronger and stronger because of the sadness we have been through. We understand each other in a way that others can’t. We have conversations with absolutely no judgment. We can ask each other just about anything in the world. We can cry. Really cry and not even speak. The difficult times changed our friendship on a deeper level.
I used to be that friend that sent cards for every occasion. I can honestly say I was a really good friend! I never forgot an occasion! The last few years have been so busy and just crowded in my mind! I have forgotten birthdays, have not been consistent on sending cards, and even texted quickly rather than making a phone call. I have apologized and always felt it was understood, but I hate that! I was on top of everything!
I want to try to get back to being organized and start sending those cards again. It is important to show the love! I always feel good getting a card in the mail or a phone call to say they are thinking of me.
As I said before, I have always felt very fortunate with the friendships in my life. As I have gotten older my conversations have been very honest. There is no fluff or trying to sound one way when I feel another. Friends should love you for who you truly are. I try to be as honest as possible. If someone asks me my opinion, I let them know how I feel. Sometimes it is difficult, but I always feel that honesty is better!
Our conversations are genuine. We really talk. We sit at dinner for four hours!! We open up because we care about each other. Sometimes I may not talk about things for a few months, but it feels so good to be able to be truly honest with good friends when the time is right. No judgment. I was not always like that. When I was younger, I often pretended like everything was fine and just talked about little things. Now our conversations get down and dirty. Ha Ha! No holding back. It feels so good! It is freeing!
There are some people that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, and live a little better.